Self-esteem is what separates your personal standards from another’s. Individuals with positive self-esteem tend to have high, yet realistic goals for their life. They’re not afraid to set high goals and go after them. On the other hand, those with low self-esteem set unrealistically high expectations for themselves or live with unnecessarily low standards.
Why is Self-Esteem Important?
Self-esteem is what allows you to put in the work to achieve the goals you desire. Whether those goals are personal, social, romantic or other, self-esteem gives you the power to achieve what you need to achieve in order to feel a sense of fulfillment.
What Does Injured Self-Esteem Look Like?
Injured self-esteem relates to the level of standards you set for yourself. Injured self-esteem can manifest as perfectionism or have no standards at all. Saying things like, “it doesn’t matter” or “I don’t care” when you actually do care and it actually does matter. Those without injured self-esteem can set realistic goals for themselves and don’t berate themselves for not moving a mountain in one day. For example, if you have a cluttered home it’s unrealistic to expect yourself to de-clutter your entire home in one day. Rather, it’s more realistic to clean and de-clutter one or two rooms at a time.
General Patterns of Injured Self-Esteem
A common part of injured self-esteem is low expectations. For example, dating the first person who shows an interest in you It can also manifest as settling for poor service, interviewing for a job in which you have no interest, and never making your preferences known. These low standards can show up in your relationships, friendships, and career. As a result, you may experience an increase in external and internal conflict and perpetuate a cycle of never feeling like you are enough.
Counseling for Healthy Self-Esteem
Too high or too low self-esteem can make living and enjoying your life nearly impossible. When your self-esteem is out of balance, you can set your self up in situations that are not conducive for living a happy, healthy life. If you feel like your personal standards are out of balance, counseling can help. By helping you create healthy standards, draw healthy boundaries, and set realistic and achievable goals for yourself. Choosing to adopt appropriate standards for yourself can help you to increase the overall quality of your life. Schedule an appointment today to discuss how you can improve your life with a healthy dose of self-esteem.